Five Reasons Why Single Mums Can Celebrate Father’s Day
Single mums can cop a lot of flak from trying to steal all the glory from dads on Father’s Day. But, what if the father of their children is not in the picture? What if they are the ones doing the majority of the child raising? Some single mums are doing the work of both mum and dad, so on Father’s Day, we should be celebrating too. Here’s why…
1. Our children are freaking amazing, and for that we can thank…ourselves!
Our children are well rounded, confident, happy, beautiful children and no one else can take the credit for that except us. Whenever I have someone complimenting me on my daughter it makes me super proud because I know that I did it all myself.
2. We do everything and don’t usually get any credit.
Don’t you think it’s funny how single dads are seen as heroes? If a father is involved, even just a little bit, in their child’s life and has the child over night (by the way, it’s not babysitting when it’s your own child – it’s called parenting), the response is usually something along the lines of Wow, that’s amazing! How great that he can feed them and put them to bed. Sorry, what? Again, it’s called parenting. I’ve never received a high five for putting my daughter to bed. So today I’m giving myself a high five. I fed her dinner last night, AND I put her to bed all by myself. Gooooo me!
3. Our children think we are superheroes!
My daughter knows that females are absolutely killing it. She knows that if something needs to be fixed, mummy can do it! She also knows that women work hard, we cook, we can get rid of bugs (and monsters), we can put IKEA furniture together (even if it takes us all bloody day), we are perfect for cuddles and have all the love they need, and we can help to solve problems. She always tells me that “Mummy can do everything!” (because she likes to speak in third person) to which I say “Yes darling, I can. But if there’s something I can’t do – I’ll do my best to figure it out”.
4. Children of single mums usually have less stereotypical roles associated to men and women.
Children raised in traditional family units often growing up observing patterns that are quite historically stereotypical. For instance, the mum might stay at home and do all the cooking, whilst the dad works and does the gardening. Without even intending to teach their children about these stereotypical roles, children are growing up with an ingrained view on what the differing roles are that men and women have. Not children of single mums, because we do everything. My daughter knows that we work as a team and we all contribute to the running of the house. She is a little feminist in the making (and she doesn’t even know it yet). The word feminist has had a lot of negative connotations in the past, but really we should all be feminists. Feminists believe in equal opportunities and rights for both men and women, and I regularly tell my daughter that men and women are the same and we all do the same jobs, and she doesn’t know any different!
5. We may not always be the fun one, but our children have comfort in knowing that we are reliable.
There are a lot of (not all) single dads out there that get to be a Disneyland Dad. They don’t do any of the hard stuff (the actual parenting) but they get to do all the fun stuff. My daughter has a Disneyland Dad and she loves it. And why wouldn’t she? Because she sees him so rarely they do all the fun things together. They go away for a weekend here or there, they go to theme parks, they drink juice and eat lollies and ice-cream all day, they go to bed late, and they watch TV all day. Sounds fun doesn’t it? Meanwhile we’re the ones teaching our children how to hold a pencil the right way, making sure we read with them every day, ensuring they’re eating healthy food, making sure they get enough sleep, ensuring they are active and get fresh air every day, and raising them to be polite, empathetic and kind human beings and not little shits. But you know what? Children need to feel safe, they need to have boundaries and they need to know that someone is always there for them. And they know that that someone is us. They can ALWAYS count on Mummy.
There are so many kick-ass dads out there, and I’m not trying to take away from that at all. But there are also a lot of mums out there who are acting as dads too. So a big Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, and to the mums who are acting as dads too.
DID YOU KNOW?
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