A holiday diary – a single mum and a toddler

I have previously written about the benefits of going on holidays with other single mums on the Single Mother Survival Guide. There are huge advantages to this (which you can read about here). But now I’m going to try a different holiday – just my daughter and me. My 3 year old daughter and me to be specific.

Am I crazy? Probably. But I’m going to do it, I’m going to give it a go anyway. Our flights are booked, our hotel is booked, our transfers are booked. Next week we are off to Fiji. 

I have decided to keep a diary of the “holiday” as I have no idea if it’s going to be absolutely disastrous, or a massive success…we will soon find out.


This is actually a really momentous event for my daughter and me. It’s our first overseas holiday together. It may seem insignificant to many, but I spent three years in a battle with my ex attempting to get a passport for my daughter so that as she grows up I could show her the world, and share my love of travel and experiencing different cultures with her. My daughter’s father did not agree to her having a passport, and so began a two year legal dispute. In January this year, I finally secured an Australian and a German passport for her. So this is a milestone for us, and something that really means a lot to me.  

Up until last week, I was hugely excited for this holiday. My daughter was being unusually delightful ALL THE TIME and we were having a great time hanging out together and being in our own little love bubble. 

Cut to this week. 

My tantromic, manipulative, threenager terror is back and I am DREADING the “holiday”.

OK maybe not dreading, but my fantasy of us building sandcastles on the beach and swimming in the pool together has been replaced by a fantasy of my daughter in kids club all day whilst I lounge by the pool, read on the beach, and drink cocktails at the swim up pool bar.


Sometimes when I’m feeling hopeful, I’ll try to picture us together having a great time, but then I get a scene in my head of my daughter screaming “I’M SO ANGRY WITH YOU MUMMY!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT MY BEST FRIEND ANYMORE!!!!” across the pool whilst I try to decide what I can bribe or threaten her with in a public place so that she #shutsthef***up (#idontusuallyswear #sorrymumanddad).

OK I do admit that I specifically chose a resort that allows kids in their FREE kids club from age 3. But I didn’t think I’d actually use it (because #imaperfectparent).   

This week my plan is to prepare for the holiday (just kidding, I’m not that organised)/try and get more excited about the “holiday” by dreaming of doing nothing (though I can’t actually remember what that feels like), and I will endeavor to write a diary entry every day of my holiday about how it’s going (depending on wifi). Of course I’ll be doing this whilst my daughter is fast asleep by 7 pm in our shared hotel room. 

wine and computer

I’m sure there will be good days and bad, but at the end of the day there is always wine (#imaperfectparent), and the next day there is always kids club. Roll on Fiji. 

*Stay tuned for updates! We are off next weekend xx


2 Days to go…

OK we’ve had a rough week and I’m a stress head, so I’ve spent the entire week worrying.

I’m still recovering from a mild pneumonia and am still coughing up my lungs. Just to add some variation into the mix, today my body decided I needed a vomiting bug to keep things interesting and I spent the entire day in bed. The positive of this is that I managed to catch up on some much needed sleep #silverlining.

But of course I’ve been stressing about whether I’ll be able to navigate a toddler, suitcases and an international flight whilst feeling so ill. At this point I’m not sure I can, so fingers crossed I feel better by tomorrow night.

The other thing worrying me is the weather forecast for Fiji next week… I’ve been checking it every hour but it seems to be getting worse (#OCD).

fiji forecast

So I’m not sure what the hell we’re going to do all week if it’s raining the entire time?

After I posted a question on a traveling to Fiji Facebook group about wet weather activity options, and feeling disappointed about the weather forecast, I got slaughtered by this woman making a “public service announcement” because FIJI IS A TROPICAL PARADISE PEOPLE, WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT??

I told her that I didn’t expect a full week of rain and if I wanted that I probably would have booked a holiday to Melbourne. I also told her I was disappointed for my daughter who I’ve been hyping up about playing on the beach and in the pool every day because it’s going to be so warm and sunny. I also told her that I’d started preparing my daughter for the rain because she’s been so excited about the sun and the beach, and my daughter had assured me that it WOULD be sunny every day and that we WOULD play on the beach (as I had been telling HER for the last couple of months). I also stated that I wasn’t sitting there whinging about it… all I said was that it looked like rain, and I was disappointed, and I’d asked for some wet weather activities please #backupwoman.

But don’t I know that YOU GET WET SWIMMING ANYWAY???? Funny that, I had no idea.

The truth is though, I am massively disappointed. I’ve been waiting to do this for so many years, and now it looks like the trip I had envisaged may not be.

It’s also a shame because as a single parent, holidays are quite a financial burden. Who knows when we’ll get the chance to go away again? I also spend the majority of my annual leave going to Perth so my daughter can spend time with her dad. Hardly my idea of a holiday for US.

Never mind, we are going to make the best of it. I am going to bring the fake tan, so it at least looks I’ve had a holiday (not that I’d be lying there tanning anyway – I’m all for sun protection #slipslopslap). Fingers crossed for a bit of sun at least, but we’re going to do as the kind lady on Facebook suggested and #danceintherain.

Fiji – Day 1 (14th August 2016)

Holy moly, I am exhausted. I thought Fiji was an easy holiday option, being only a 4 hour flight away. But a lot can happen in four hours, and that excludes the two hours at the airport prior to flying whilst being ill with a vomiting bug.

Three dashes to the bathroom with a toddler and a trolley full of carry on in tow…not so fun. Plus I was scared of my daughter’s father putting my daughter on the airport watch list so there was a lot of stress until we got through customs.



About ten minutes into the flight my daughter decided to be demonic, so I turned off The Peanuts Movie she was watching as punishment. “I WANT TO WATCH THE PENIS MOVIE!!!!” she subsequently screamed repeatedly through the plane. OMG, QUICK… put The Peanuts Movie back on. Jesus Christ.

Anyone who’s flown with a toddler knows that it is not fun. Or relaxing. Or easy. One of my colleagues once told me that I could easily get 4 hours of work done on a flight to Perth with my toddler. I nearly spat my coffee out. Clearly he’s never flown with a toddler.

Apart from needing to find a new activity for my toddler every 5 minutes (man I wish she was one of those kids that would sit quietly and watch a movie for an hour; or even 20 minutes), the flight was quite interesting. The ratio of adults to children on that flight was about 1:1, so when we came down to land, the noises around the cabin simulated that of the noises on a roller coaster. One mum was in hysterics about it. I’m not sure how many bottles of wine she’d had, but it was quite funny.

We did also run into another family from my daughter’s day care on the same flight which meant an additional 15 minutes of activity sorted. Hooray!



We finally landed, and my darling daughter kept running out of the customs area whilst I was in the queue. I was about to lose my mind at this point. Stress levels were at the max. This was along with trying to get our transfers sorted and my daughter’s (and my) sudden need to run to the toilet every 15 minutes.

I hadn’t quite settled into the whole “Fiji time” attitude, and frankly I was getting cranky at the slow moving turn of events whilst we waited for the transfers to be organised for over an hour. Transfers that were PRE-BOOKED.

Anyway, finally we got on the bus and 2 HOURS LATER we arrived at the hotel.


I already knew that if we ever did this again, I would not book a hotel so far away. BUT when we got to the Resort, I think it was worth it? I’ll let you know tomorrow because it was getting dark, and I couldn’t really see that well. But the Resort is lovely, the views are beautiful and the staff are incredibly friendly.


It’s now 10:30pm Fiji time, and we’ve been here for about 4.5 hours. Everyone knows my daughter’s name. Perhaps because I have been yelling her name at the top of my lungs ever since we got here, and the helicopter parent in me wants to keep reigning in the child who runs out of my eye sight? She also had a quite dramatic episode of flinging herself on the floor whilst we were checking in to the Resort, which also took over half an hour (#FijiTime). This did however result in a room upgrade for us with ocean views because (I think) they felt sorry for me.


We have since unpacked, got lost in the Resort, checked out the Kids Club (just out of interest sake of course) and had a lovely dinner #finediningwithatoddler.


I actually can’t wait to get to bed now and see what tomorrow brings.

Good night zzzzzz

Fiji – Day 2 (15th August 2016)

I think I got about 4 hours sleep last night thanks to my darling heart who woke up at 3 am and didn’t want to sleep anymore. But today’s been great. I don’t want to jinx the weather so I won’t say anything about that, but we did have a lovely day swimming in the pool and at the beach.

It’s actually really nice to spend some QUALITY time together, I think people assume, being a single mum, I spend LOADS of quality time with my daughter. But the sad truth is that although I DO spend quality time with my child, I probably spend the majority of my time working (a financial necessity), doing chores at home, home administration or just normal day to day things with my child, like ensuring she brushes her teeth and eats her dinner, rather than just sitting and playing and being in the moment with her and doing fun things together.

Today was the first day in a really long time, where there wasn’t stuff to do (like cleaning, dishes, washing etc.), and we really could just spend the whole day together having fun.

Today was also the first day, since Thursday last week, where I’ve felt relatively normal again. It was great to get my appetite back.


After a delicious buffet breakfast we spent the entire morning at the pool – swimming and having fun.

There was also a little time to just lie back and relax.


After lunch on our balcony (TIP #3: TAKE FOOD FROM THE BUFFET BREAKFAST TO SAVE MONEY ON LUNCH), my daughter had a sleep which meant I could relax and read for an hour, and plan out my spa treatments.

This is not usual for me, as normally when my daughter sleeps, I either work or do house chores.

This afternoon was equally heavenly, with a swim at the beach, testing out the various hammocks, and a few games of bingo.

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Testing out hammocks


Two ladies going out for Bingo and dinner

Things didn’t run so smoothly at dinner and there were a couple of MAJOR tantrums which resulted in SEVERE glares from a few elderly people around the restaurant. As we walked back to our room past the pool bar after a not so fun dinner, I did have a moment reminiscing of my old life.


Watching all the hooligans having fun swimming, dancing, and partying in the pool with not a care in the world did remind me of the “good old days”, but feeling my daughter’s hand in mine as we walked, I wouldn’t change a thing in the world.

With the exception of dinner, it was a really good day. My challenge at the moment is trying to get my daughter to sleep whilst I potter around in the same room. She just asked me why I ate her. I told her I didn’t eat her. She followed up by asking me how she got in my tummy when she was a baby then. Never a dull moment around here.

Fiji – Day 3 (16th August 2016)

Today was pretty good, with just a couple of tantrums thrown in to keep me on my toes.

The morning was spent swimming and sunning and having a drink in the pool bar which my daughter found tremendously exciting (stools in the water!!!).


This really is the perfect place for kids. I can’t even imagine what it would be like in the school holidays, because there are kids, toddlers and babies everywhere. My daughter made a little friend who she had been playing on and off with yesterday at the pool too. Another little girl her age from Sydney. Her parents are lovely too, and it is nice to chat to other adults.

Our morning was followed up by another lovely lunch on our ocean view balcony (SEE TIP #3) and then a sleep for both of us.

The beauty of TIP #3 is you also avoid all the potential dramas which may arise in a restaurant.

So far this day wasn’t as relaxing as it sounds. It was mingled in with a grizzly toddler who did not have a regard for listening to anything I said #Iamtheboss.

After a much needed sleep for both of us, the shit hit the fan. My daughter’s shoe broke. The engineer in me redesigned it so that she could still wear it, but my daughter did not appreciate this kind gesture #Iamanassholeparent. This set off a major tantrum during which my daughter said some really hurtful things to me. She told me (actually screamed at me, through her tears) how mean I am, and that her daddy is never mean to her and how nice he was. I’m pretty sure I now know what it feels like to have a three year old stab you in the heart.

It’s hurtful because the guy doesn’t make any effort, or initiate any contact with my daughter, and in fact hasn’t seen my daughter since January. Last year I learned of the term Disneyland Dad. And that is exactly what he is. He waltzes in a few times a year when it suits him, sometimes to whisk my daughter on a holiday (last time to the theme parks in the Gold Coast), however more often than not I am the one taking my daughter to see him on the other side of the country because I know how much she misses him. Meanwhile I am the one doing everything with, and for my daughter, and this includes the discipline.

I fought very hard to get this passport for my daughter and when it’s my turn to do something fun with her I get told I’m mean and daddy’s nice. Ouch! (And I’ve even relaxed my no sugar stance and she’s had treat drinks like orange juice and soda water with grenadine, AND ice cream.)

At this point I think we both needed a bit of a break from each other. Thank God for Kids Club. I took her there whilst she screamed about her shoe. Then I took myself back to our room and cried. Having a kid is bloody hard work, and emotionally exhausting.

After I recovered, I took myself off to the spa for a full body exfoliation and foot massage.


It’s amazing how much better I felt after 2 hours by myself. I picked my daughter up and we had a lovely reunion, and she was actually happy to see me. Hooray!

We met up with our new friends for happy hour and Bingo which was also great.



Having more adults around, and a child my daughter’s age made everything easier. We agreed to meet up again after dinner for the Polynesian Show.

Dinner time was another relaxing experience. Not. I am starting to dread these dinners. I think we might switch to room service dinners soon. We went to a beautiful Japanese restaurant, and my daughter inhaled the sashimi we had as an entree. So far so good.


Then the main came out and the salmon she had ordered did not look like she had hoped. She didn’t really recognise the salmon, but the dish looked amazing. It was a work of art. I ignored her screaming for the first 30 seconds and sent a little prayer into the universe for strength and a quick turnaround of my daughter’s mood. Unfortunately it didn’t work. My daughter threw herself off her chair and under the table where she continued to carry on wailing. A waiter came around and offered her ice cream. Her eyes lit up. I don’t bloody think so. No ice cream after this behaviour. Mean mummy.

I took her outside for a little talk and we agreed she would be nice and polite and eat some of her dinner and THEN she could have some ice cream if the first two conditions were met. The rest of dinner WAS lovely, and the waiters had ice cream for her, ready to go as soon as I gave the nod. She actually scoffed down the salmon. I hate it when you KNOW they’re going to like something but they simply refuse #mumisalwaysright. Such a waste of everyone’s energy!

The show was fantastic, and my daughter and I even danced in the show too. I was very proud of my little darling. It was good to finish the day on a high.

Fiji – Day 4 (17th August 2016)

Today has been a pretty uneventful day, in a good way! We ran into our new friends at breakfast and the girls told us they wanted to go to Kids Club. There was no convincing whatsoever.

So off she went, and I spent a couple of hours working, when really I should have used that time to relax. But I got to relax when my daughter was back. We had lunch and she then slept, and I lay and read for an hour.

Our lazy day continued with my daughter and me just lying around having cuddles, chatting and playing for a couple of hours before she announced that she wanted to go back to Kids Club. So I dropped her off, had a glass of wine and read for another hour #perfectparent. Our lazy day has coincided with our first full day of wet weather, so it’s been kind of perfect actually.

It occurred to me that perhaps I’m trying to do too much with her and that’s why she’s playing up.


Dinner time… I decided to take the chance of having dinner out again. We’ve spent too much time cooped up inside today. Success! My threat of us having the remaining holiday dinners as room service must have worked #winning. Things are looking up!

Fiji – Day 5 (18th August 2016)

Another day in paradise (this is how the miners would sarcastically respond, when I was working as an engineer in the mines, and I cheerily asked them how they were)…

There’s not much to write about today. So I’ll keep it short and sweet. We had a fabulous morning – a late breakfast, a swim and play in the pool (with our new friends) and pizza for lunch.

My daughter skipped her sleep as she wanted to dart off to the kids cooking activities they had on this afternoon.

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It was nice to get a couple of hours off, though sadly we had rain again so I relaxed under cover.

One thing I wanted to mention though was that we have been guzzling down the water. I bought a case of 1 L Fiji water bottles at the airport duty free (gone are the days of buying alcohol and cigarettes duty free… I’m buying water now. Who am I?) that have been great to have on hand and have saved $$ on the water prices they have at the Resort.

So if you’re traveling to somewhere where you can’t drink the tap water, buy water in bulk, if you can, to save $$.


The other thing I’ve noticed is that half of the belongings we brought with us are untouched. I think it’s because half of the things I packed for us, we never wear at home anyway. I’m not sure why I thought we’d wear them on holidays?


While I’m at it, you’re not gonna get a chance to read those 5 magazines and 6 books you brought with you. Limit it to 2 books and 2 magazines per week. You’ll only look at them longingly, like I am. This is dependent on your children’s age of course.

Same goes for your sneakers and workout clothes. You’re not going to go to the gym #keepdreaming.

Keep your half full suitcase with all the chemist supplies. You never know when you may need them.

We had a pre-dinner happy hour drink. There was a wedding party there too. The bride looked beautiful. It was a shame about the rain. My daughter was very inquisitive about what was going on. She asked me if the bride was a princess. I told her that today she was, and that she’d married her prince. She then ran around looking for the prince. When she saw him she told me she was going to marry a girl prince #mydaughtermaybegay #Ihavenoissuewiththat.

We’ve just finished dinner, and I’m literally fuming. We had to cut dinner short and take the rest to our room (mine anyway). Another tantrum because I won’t let her eat just ice cream for dinner #Iamanassholeparent #threenager #f***ingoverit.

I got an email today inviting me to upgrade our return flights to business class. I wonder if they’ll allow me to upgrade just MY ticket?

P.S Just ordered a drink from room service. I’ve never seen one with glad wrap on it.

Cheers xx


Fiji – Day 6 (19th August 2016)

Today I woke up BEFORE my daughter for a change. It was only because I had set the alarm (spa appointment to get to). But cuddling my daughter, who had crept into my bed during the night, before she woke up was the BEST. I l know she drives me mad a lot of the time lately, but it’s moments like this that make up for the difficult times.

We had a very smooth morning in comparison to yesterday evening. Anyway, we’ve moved on from that #todayisanewday.


After breakfast, my daughter went to Kids Club, and I strolled over to the Spa for a caviar facial and a flower essence hydrotherapy bath #heaven. After the treatment, the lovely lady tried to convince me to buy $500 worth of creams and serums (“just to help with all the fine lines and wrinkles”). Man I wish I could have bought them, but I have more important things to spend my money on now (like food, bills and day care fees). Even the spa treatments themselves were quite a treat for me. Most single mums I know (including me) don’t spend a lot of money on themselves.

After lunch was low key – me working (and doing our online food order for delivery the evening we get home), my daughter sleeping.

I’m terrified of dinner time. How can a toddler bring you so much fear and anxiety?

We are going to the BEST restaurant in the Resort tonight (apparently). It has rave reviews in my favourite Fiji travel Facebook group and is supposed to be an amazing experience. Our new friends have been twice. The second time without their kids – there is probably a lesson here for me. Must remember to threaten my daughter with room service when she wakes up.

It’s currently pouring with rain but this will not stop the activities I have planned for our second last afternoon – going to the beach, kite flying, kayaking and paddle boarding. Maybe it’ll stop by the time my daughter wakes up. And if not, well as the nice lady on Facebook informed me, YOU GET WET SWIMMING ANYWAY!!


There are certain things out of your control.

My daughter actually didn’t want to do much this afternoon except swim in the pool. So off we went, me sitting under an umbrella whilst my daughter swam in the rain.


A lady came along with her niece to swim in the pool. It was clear she’d had a few drinks (also because she announced it to everyone by the pool). She decided to give all the kids a swimming lesson. The kids loved it.

There was a woman in the pool telling her 7-year-old daughter off. It went on for a long time. I don’t know what happened, but it sounded pretty serious. The punishment that the woman was rattling off was quite an extensive list and included – no more scouts, no more television, no more swimming lessons, and no more playing with her friends. Ever! But I’m glad I’m not the only one yelling at my child. I asked her how she was enjoying her “holiday”.


The Resort we are at has VERY long corridors, and all week my daughter has demanded that I RUN with her from place to place. If I don’t run, she throws herself on a heap on the floor. Sometimes it’s best to keep the peace, so running it is. However, I must also let her “win”. There are strict rules in place. We then run down the halls whilst she yells “I’M WINNING!!!!” She also likes to cut in front of anyone in our path and put her hands out to the sides whilst zig zagging down the hall so no one can get past whilst announcing “TODAY I’M GOING TO WIN”. I’ve tried to have my turn to win, but it hasn’t ended well.

She also likes to refer to me as either “beautiful mummy” (very sweet) or “little piggy” (not so sweet). So often when we’re running down the halls she shouts out “COME ON LITTLE PIGGY”. Where does she get this stuff?

Dinner was bloody fantastic. The restaurant was gorgeous, and jutted off a jetty type thing in to the sea.



It had a sand floor and there were musicians playing music too. My daughter was so well behaved. Thank God for that. I even got commended on it #shesalwaysanangel.



We had a beautiful dinner of seared scallops and smoked salmon.

We met up with our new friends after dinner so the girls could play. Neither of the girls were listening to us about the play area boundaries. So we swapped children, and I told my daughter’s friend what she was allowed to do, and where she was allowed to go, and the other mum informed my daughter of the same. Problem solved. It’s funny how your child won’t listen to you, but they listen to pretty much anyone else.

We all went to the Fijian Meke show at 8:30pm. My little entertainer participated too.


My daughter wanted to play a bit more after the show so we had a bit of a late night. I even got a massage!


There’s a Violence Against Women Conference going on at the Resort at the moment, and one of the delegates approached me with a sparkling wine as we were outside. He suggested we get married and he move to Australia. He had our whole life planned out, which involved him making all the decisions. When I told him I didn’t agree with some of his chauvinistic statements, he told me it didn’t matter what I thought, because I was a woman and he would be the boss of me. He was deadly serious. It turned out he was a police officer with a wife and two children. What the hell is wrong with some people?

Fiji – Day 7 (20th August 2016)

We slept till about 9:30 am today. It wasn’t a miracle; my daughter’s still on Sydney time so it was a slight sleep in at 7:30 am Sydney time.

Nevertheless, we raced down to breakfast before the buffet closed and then spent the morning by the pool drinking coconuts and swimming. Our new friends were there too. My daughter had a ball. The sun even came out for about 30 seconds.



After another pizza lunch on the balcony we had a sleep, and woke up three hours later at 5 pm. We literally slept the whole afternoon away. BUT when we woke up, the sun was out! The sun was out properly for the first time all week. Hooray!



So we raced outside and went swimming at the beach whilst we watched the sunset. I also did some snorkelling whilst our new friends watched my daughter. It was so beautiful. It was a perfect afternoon really.




We went to our favourite restaurant again for dinner (my daughter’s choice). We had originally booked the Japanese again, but when my daughter said she’d prefer to go back to “Wicked Walu” on the water, I didn’t protest. We had had such a nice dinner there yesterday, and I was a bit scared to go back to the Japanese place after her behaviour there the last time.


Dinner was gorgeous again, the musicians were there too, and this time it wasn’t raining. The only part that wasn’t so great was the sea snake they had to shoo out of the kitchen.


I was on high alert after that, but still really enjoyed the seafood soup and scallops I had. There were also fish feeding off the side so there was plenty for my daughter to be focussed on. Once again I was commended on the excellent behaviour of my daughter #perfectparent.


We met up with our friends again after dinner for an ice cream and the final show.


The girls had a great time, and then we went off back to our room to pack.

I can’t believe it’s our last night. The last two days have been unreal.

Fiji – Day 8 (21st August 2016)

Of course on the day we leave, the weather is absolutely perfectly gorgeous. The whole week has been rainy and overcast (apart from yesterday afternoon) and today the sun is shining and the weather is perfect.


I really don’t want to go home.

After a speedy breakfast we run down to the beach to make the most of our final hour. The water is perfect, and we do some swimming and kayaking. My daughter loves it! As do I.


There was a very teary farewell (my daughter’s friend was devastated we had to say goodbye – but we have exchanged numbers and plan to meet up for play dates back home) to our friends before getting ready to go.

Another 2-hour trip back on the bus, which wasn’t too bad, before arriving at the airport. Today is a big day for Fiji. The rugby sevens (who won Fiji’s first gold Olympic medal) are arriving back in Fiji from Rio, and as the bus drives through Nadi and into the airport, the streets are lined with people, some waving flags, waiting to welcome their heroes home. It’s quite spectacular really.

The flight home seemed to take a lot longer, but once again my daughter was delightful and she got lots of praise about how well behaved she was.

Now we are home, and our holiday is officially over. Going away solo with a toddler is not too different to being at home really. Plenty of ups and downs, BUT SO WORTHWHILE. We had some great experiences and quality time together, and have some beautiful memories to look back on.

Going on a holiday solo with your child or children shouldn’t hold you back. It’s been a pretty amazing overall experience, and we can’t wait to go back! Next time, we are hoping for the sun that Fiji is so famous for.

Thank you for joining us on our journey.


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