One of the most important things you should do when separating is change all your passwords and check you are secure online. It is scary how common it is for separated couples to “spy” on or “stalk” each other online. Often this is done later in the separation process when gathering “evidence” for a court proceeding.
It is up to you if you “unfriend” or “block” your ex on Facebook, although I am of the opinion that it is the best thing to do. You are no longer in a relationship, and therefore, your private lives should be kept as just that…private. For me personally, I remained Facebook friends with my ex, his family, and his friends until it came back to bite me. After that, I swiftly removed any connection to him, and life is much more peaceful. People can still “stalk” you, even if they are blocked, by using another account. A better method is to completely lock down your privacy settings to “Friends” and “Only Me”. It’s up to you what you do, but should you want to be “Facebook secure” here are some pointers…
- Delete or block your ex, and any other connections you may have with him (unless you have great relationships with them all…as I said, it’s up to you).
- Check what your Facebook profile looks like to the public. To do this you must use a computer or laptop and do the following:
- Click on your name on the top right hand side of the toolbar.
- Click the three dots on the right of “view activity log”.
- Select “view as” option. You will then see a black bar on the top.
- You can then scroll down and see how anyone who is not your Facebook friend can view your profile.
- Make note of any posts or photos that you may want to change the privacy settings on.
- You can also see how your profile may look to a specific person by clicking on “view as specific person” and typing in their name.
- Click on the black “x” on the left hand side of the top toolbar to return to normal.
- You can then go to any specific photos or posts to change those privacy settings if you don’t want them to be seen by the public.
- Hide your Likes, Movies, Music, TV Shows:
- How to hide your Likes – video.
- Read this article on How to Lock Down Your Facebook Account For Maximum Privacy and Security and apply to your Facebook account.
If deleting and blocking seems a little scary at first you could set your ex and his family/friends to limited profile, acquaintances or restricted. Or alternatively, set up a list of whom you wish to share posts with (taking off the ex and his family members). You could also create a closed group page for photos of your child, and thus keep your own account private.
Another thing to note is that your Friends list can never really be private. Even if you have your Friends list set to “only me” and block your ex. All they have to do is set up a fake profile and request to be your friend. This is courtesy of Facebook’s “People You May Know” feature. If this is of interest to you, read more here.
If you want to be able to share photos with your ex and his family or friends there are other ways than Facebook:
- Drop Box;
- Setting up a separate Facebook account which only has pictures of your child, then delete your ex and his family/friends from your personal page and invite them to be friends on the new page.