Ten unexpected perks of being a single mum.
When I became a single mum, I didn’t think that anything good could possibly come out of it. Apart from not being in a toxic relationship anymore of course… But over the years I have found some great unexpected perks of being a single mum.
Here are some of my faves…
1. I am in charge of what we do.
I don’t have to compromise with anyone. If my daughter and I want to go away for the weekend, we do it. Shall we eat dinner by having a picnic on the floor? Why not? Anyone have a problem with us having a pyjama day on a rainy winter’s day? Nope. If we want to spend the whole day at the beach, we can. The flexibility and freedom that we have is a great positive.
2. No one can undermine my authority.
When I say “it’s bedtime”, it’s bedtime. No one can dispute that. When I say “no you cannot eat all your Halloween treats in one go”, there is no one to say “oh just let her eat the entire bucket tonight”. When I say “it’s not nice to hit Harry”, there’s no one to say “he hit her first, she needs to learn to fight back”.
3. The bond I have with my daughter.
Every day I get to spend special time with my daughter. That’s guaranteed one-on-one time every single day. Two of my favourite parts of the day are cuddles in my bed in the morning, and the bed time routine. There is no better way to start the day than having my daughter’s sweet little face right next to mine every morning, and being woken by her kisses all over my face. We also have a series of games we play after we read books each night.
They include – pretending she is my pillow, pretending she is a bench, tickle monsters, and pretending I am a dog. If anyone saw us, they would think we were MAD, but my daughter loves them. And they bring us both so much joy, and I get to do that every day. We have a great bond, and my daughter ALWAYS comes to me if something is bothering her, and she knows that I will always have her back.
4. How household savvy my daughter is for her age.
My daughter and I are a team. She knows that we both contribute to running the family, and she actually loves it. We write the shopping list together, we shop together, we cook together, we clean up together, and we do the laundry together. There is no silver spooning in our house.
5. Bragging rights.
My daughter is pretty freaking amazing. I am so proud of the person she is. She is kind, she is confident, she is empathetic, she is caring, she is a great friend to others, she is hilarious. I am raising this phenomenal little human, and whenever I get complimented on her I know that I did that. Me! I also know that every milestone she has reached or skill she has learnt, is because of me.
6. The strength gained.
I know that I can handle anything that gets thrown my way. When I look back on my last four and a half years of single parenting, the strength I have gained is more than any strength I’ve gained in my whole life. It’s pretty empowering to know that I’ve got this, that I am strong, that I don’t need a man to solve any problems that may come up for me, that I am happy and back to being me. I know what I want, and I’m going to get it. And I ain’t putting up with any sh*t from anyone.
7. Motivation and Success.
There isn’t anyone more motivated than a single mother who is trying to provide for her children. There are so many successful business owners and employees who are single mums, and the secret is that we have that added motivation knowing that we HAVE to make it work because there is no one else to fall back on. We will do whatever it takes to make it work. Throw any obstacles you like at us, but we will find a way to smash through them. I have met some serious powerhouse women over the years, and it makes me truly proud to be in the single mum club.
8. Making new friends.
I always harp on about finding your tribe, but truly this was by far one of the most unexpected outcomes of becoming a single parent. I have met some really lovely single mums over the last few years, and I probably would not have met any of them if I hadn’t become a single mother.
9. No disappointments.
There is so much disappointment in relationships due to expectations. A lot of it is because as women we expect men to read our minds. I cannot believe he didn’t book that restaurant I wanted for my birthday! But as single mums, we already know we are doing everything ourselves. I am not relying on anyone else to read my mind or to make me happy. My happiness comes from within. No expectations from anyone = no disappointment.
10. Front of the line for day care lists.
This was something that I did not know about before becoming a single mum. But as a single mum you receive priority on waiting lists for day care (in Australia anyway). It makes sense because there is no one else to share the load or make the money. Back in 2014 when I was looking for urgent child care, I met some women who were so incredibly frustrated because they couldn’t get their little one into day care and they wanted a day to themselves to play tennis and have some “time out”. They couldn’t understand why I got a place so quickly. But child care is a must for some single mums. If we don’t work, we don’t eat. Simple as that. So no two year waiting lists for us.
P.S DID YOU KNOW?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are a good fit to work together.
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