Spending Christmas Without The Kids.

Last month my daughter’s dad and I sat down and worked out a plan for when each of us would have our daughter in 2018. It was a huge relief to me to have some dates set out. You see, I am a planner. My ex? Not so much. With my ex living across the country, he has often just let me know when he was arriving in Sydney a few days beforehand.

Because of the distance, flights need to be booked and other arrangements need to be made. We have a had a fairly loose arrangement to date which involves my daughter seeing her dad every two months, alternating between him flying to Sydney to visit her, and us flying to Perth so she can see him.

With my daughter starting school next year, I knew things would have to change. I could not take her out of school every two months so she could spend time with her dad. And so we found ourselves sitting down one night with our calendars and working out how the school holidays matched with my daughter’s dad’s fly-in-fly-out roster. It turns out – not very well.

Easter happens to fall in the middle of the school term and it also happens to match up with my daughter’s dad’s time off. So next year will be my first Easter without my daughter *cry*.

We only worked out their time together up to and including October, but there is a good chance I’ll either have to spend Christmas with my ex over in Perth next year (can’t wait! Not…), or he will fly here and take her away on a trip over Christmas.

Just even thinking about this makes me sad, and it’s not even a reality yet.

My heart goes out to all the single parents who will be spending this Christmas without their kids.

One of the biggest challenges of being a single mum (or dad) is having to say goodbye to our children and having to share special occasions with the other parent.

Christmas is my favourite time of year. It’s a time to spend with my family and friends, eat delicious food, visit the beach, and play with my daughter. Seeing my daughter’s face when she discovers that Santa has come (despite being on the naughty list from time to time) is the best thing ever. Not sharing the day with her is going to be very very hard for me.

But it has got me thinking about what I will do to make myself feel better.

Here are some things I will do if I have to spend Christmas without my daughter.

1. Re-create Christmas Day on another day.

I know that if I don’t have my daughter next Christmas, I will just pretend Christmas Day is on another day. She is only four so she believes pretty much everything I say. I will simply tell her that this year Santa has decided she gets to have two Christmas days – one for her to have with daddy, and one for her to have with me. And I will make it extra special, just like a real Christmas Day.

2. Remind myself how lucky I’ve been.

This year will be the 5th Christmas I get to spend with my daughter. I have been very very lucky. It helps that my ex is not into Christmas, so it’s no big loss to him, but it is still only fair that he gets to spend Christmas with our daughter and experience her joy on the day too. Plus it will be great for my daughter to spend Christmas with her dad too.

3. Have a Christmas nap.

Who has the chance to have Christmas naps when you have kids? It’s pretty rare. Sometimes you just want to fall asleep in a food coma but when you have Lego to put together, or other things to build, or pool toys to play with, it is unlikely. I will embrace the Christmas afternoon siesta.

4. Take a trip.

A good way to tie in some me-time and relaxation is just to get away from everything and have a solo trip somewhere. I don’t get time to myself that regularly so making the most of the time alone and going away somewhere could be a great distraction. Doing this with other single mums who don’t have their kids is another option.

5. Save money.

With no rush to buy presents before Christmas, it can give us the opportunity to save money and buy Christmas presents in the Boxing Day Sales. That is some sweet silver lining right there.

If you are spending Christmas Day without the kids this year, know that you are not alone. All over the world, there are other parents who will be missing their kids this Christmas. If you don’t get to see them this year, then next year it will most likely be your turn to have the kids. That is definitely something to look forward to!

P.S DID YOU KNOW?

You can also book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!

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