Tinder Surprise – Part 3
In Tinder Surprise – Part 2 I wrote about not being ready to write about Date 3. Well now I am ready to start.
Let’s get straight into it.
For those that read Part 1 of my Tinder Surprise blog past series (if you didn’t, you can read about it here), you will know that I had a man email me through my website to tell me his views on a blog post I’d written about the stigma of single mums (which you can read here). Well… we ended up getting to know each other quite well, first by corresponding over email, and later on the phone.
Because we were both out of Sydney when this happened, we decided to meet up upon our return. Initially there was a bit of an awkward conversation because I asked whether it was a date or not. His response was I don’t consider coffee a date. I guess I took his response as Chill TF out. No, this is not a date, whereas apparently he meant I want to go on a date with you, but not having COFFEE. So after we sorted out that miscommunication we ended up going out for an afternoon glass of WINE in Newtown.
The date was great. We got along really well in person, which was good news as I really liked him from getting to know him on the phone and over email. I was hoping for some chemistry, which there was. There was no kissing if you want to know – it was very civilised – and we decided to go on another date.
About a week later we went out on our second date. We had dinner and drinks which also went very well, and yes there may have been some kissing involved on this occasion.
Two dates turned into three, which turned into four, five and six. Over time we decided to commit to a relationship. Having a relationship with a full time single dad, and being a pretty much full time single mum can be quite a challenge. There were many hours of phone calls in lieu of dates. And when there were dates, it wasn’t so easy to be spontaneous. Every date needed to be planned out and scheduled. There were definitely no sleep overs. It can be quite difficult on a relationship. But it was still worth it. When my daughter went away with her dad for two whole weeks (longest time she’s been away from me *cry*), the man organised a friend to watch his children for two nights and we went away for three days on his boat.
I was a little bit nervous about it because I worried if we had an argument we couldn’t escape each other. But I did think it was a great opportunity to spend some extended one on one time together to see how we got along, and if we could see a long term potential future with each other. The only other issue I had was the toileting situation. I’m one of those people that will not do a number two in a new boyfriend’s house, or pretty much anywhere near him, so I did wonder how that would work.
Anyway, the weekend arrived and off we went. When I got on the boat, I sussed out the toilet situation. It wasn’t great. I asked him how the toilet waste would be exposed of. He told me that when we finished our trip and he was at home, he would empty it out. WHAT!!?!?! I screeched. How on earth could I possibly go to the toilet now? It was bad enough that he would have to pour my urine out himself. I was horrified.
The tank didn’t look very big either, and I did question what would happen if it got filled up. He told me he would just empty it out. Bloody fantastic. How romantic. He did, however, assure me that it wouldn’t happen, and he was often away for a few nights with the kids and it had never been filled. I found out afterward, that was because he rarely uses it himself when he is with his kids.
He unfortunately got a horrible flu on the second night, so it wasn’t as much fun for him after that. Also on the second night I started getting horrible cramps. I had already decided that there was no way I was going to let him pour out the toilet waste and see my poo. I would just have to hold it and live with the pain.
On our third and final day, he told me there was an issue with the toilet tank. It was FULL. He had to lift it out and pour it into the ocean, which wasn’t so easy considering it was not only full, but overflowing. #Awkward! Thank God I didn’t do a poo.
Overall I did have a wonderful time though, and I was delighted that no secret psychopathic personality traits were revealed. We had lots of fun – we swam, slept, got to know each other better, ate, and drank champagne. It was quite a treat for two full time single parents to have a whole weekend together without children.
After that our relationship only got better. After three months we decided to introduce our children to each other. It was a decision I considered very carefully, as did he. I was more concerned about his seven year old daughter than I was about his three year old son and my four year old daughter because she was older and could understand more. I was seven when my parents separated so I remember the feeling when my parent’s new partners came and went. I only wanted to meet his kids as a girlfriend until I was sure I could see a potential long term future. So initially I introduced him to my daughter as my friend, and he introduced me to his kids as his friend. The meetings went very well and his children were adorable.
There wasn’t any PDA in front of our children for quite some time. I wanted to make sure there was no confusion for them. But we bonded with each other’s children very well, even looking after each other’s children at times when the other had something on. It was a good opportunity for our kids to get to know each other and become friends. My daughter and his youngest aren’t that switched on when it comes to relationships yet, but eventually his seven year old daughter suggested I become his girlfriend. It was super sweet. And so we told her we were dating. I fell in love with his kids.
I am going to continue this story in Part 4 but I will jump to the ending now to say that sadly we have since split up. At least it appears that way. I’m not really sure why. But what I do know is that everything is OK. He didn’t turn out to be my Mr Right, and that’s OK. I’d rather know 6 months in than 6 years in. Some things are just not meant to be.
DID YOU KNOW?
- Are you thinking about leaving your partner but not sure how, or if you should?
- Have you already decided to leave your partner and need assistance to help you get the ball rolling?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read all about the mentoring programs currently available, and to book in for your 30 minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are a good fit to work together.
OR, if you’d like to register your interest for one of the online courses, please fill out the form below. This is something that I REALLY wished had been available to me when I became a single mum. I am super dooper excited about this!
It gives mums the tools that they need to get life back on track in a really supportive environment.
AND I’m also launching one for single dads!
These courses are very non-threatening, and really fun. You will be informed, inspired, motivated and supported the whole way though, and you will be able to connect with other single parents.
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