Valentine’s Day is “supposed” to be about love, connection, and romantic gestures. But if you’re a single mum navigating life after separation or divorce, it can feel like a cruel reminder of what’s missing. Suddenly, the shops are full of roses, chocolates, and couples holding hands, and instead of feeling celebrated, it might be a reminder of what’s been lost. You might feel invisible, forgotten, or painfully alone.
First of all, let me say this: you are not alone in feeling this way. So many women quietly dread this day, even if they put on a brave face. And while it’s natural to feel sadness or longing, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be something you simply “get through.” You can approach it in a way that feels nurturing and even empowering. Here’s how:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings (Without Judgment)
Loneliness often feels worse when we try to suppress it or convince ourselves we “shouldn’t feel this way.” Give yourself permission to acknowledge what’s coming up. Journaling, talking to a friend, or simply naming the emotion (“I’m feeling lonely right now”) can soften its grip.
2. Reframe What the Day Means
Who says Valentine’s Day is only about romantic love? Love comes in many forms – self-love, love for your children, love from your friends, and even love for life itself. Decide to celebrate all the love that surrounds you, not just the kind sold in Hallmark cards.
3. Create New Traditions with Your Kids
If you have your children with you, turn Valentine’s Day into a family celebration. Bake heart-shaped cookies, make each other handmade cards, or have a “red and pink dinner night” with pasta, strawberries, and fun decorations. These rituals can become something your kids look forward to every year.
4. Plan Ahead if You’ll Be Solo
If your kids are with their dad or you’re spending the evening alone, think about what would feel soothing rather than triggering. Maybe it’s a bubble bath, ordering your favourite takeaway, a cosy movie marathon, or diving into a good book. The key is to plan ahead so you’re not left feeling unprepared or vulnerable to the loneliness spiral.
5. Reach Out for Connection
Sometimes loneliness softens when we remind ourselves that others are feeling the same way. Send a message to a friend, call another single mum, jump into the Single Mother Survival Guide Support Forum, or even organise a “Galentine’s” catch-up (in person or even virtually). You’ll quickly see that love and connection don’t only come from romantic partners.
6. Give Yourself a Little Gift
Who says you can’t buy your own flowers, chocolates, or small treat? Consider Valentine’s Day as an excuse to practice self-love. Even something simple like fresh flowers on the table can be a reminder that you deserve beauty and care in your daily life.
Valentine’s Day might not look like the movies right now. And that’s okay. The truth is, it doesn’t have to. By choosing to nurture yourself, celebrating the love you do have, and creating your own traditions, you’re reminding yourself that your worth isn’t tied to whether Cupid shows up this year.
Loneliness may still knock at the door, but it doesn’t have to stay for dinner.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.
PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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