When I became a single mum, I quickly realised that along with juggling nappies, day-care (and then school) runs, work, and an often hostile ex, I also had to navigate people’s interesting perceptions about what life as a single mum must be like.
Some of them were downright hilarious (and some a little insulting, if I’m honest). So, let’s have a laugh at six funny perceptions about being a single mum.
1. We must have so much quality time with our kids
Apparently, single mums have endless quality time with their kids. Oh yes, because nothing says “quality bonding” like chasing your toddler around with a half-broken hairbrush, or nagging your five-year-old to put their shoes on for the 137th time. All while trying to pack bags, get the slow cooker on for dinner, make lunch, get dressed, and make yourself look somewhat presentable for a day in the office.
Yes, single mums often get more one-on-one time with their kids, but let’s be clear, it’s not usually candlelit chats and heart-to-hearts. Most of the time, it’s multitasking a hundred things at once, or thinking about what needs to happen next to get everything done for the day.
2. We’re all out every weekend “finding a new dad”
This one cracks me up. People assume single mums spend Friday and Saturday nights in bars, prowling for their next husband. Okay, sometimes we do go out (which is a juggling organisational act in itself), but reality check? Friday nights usually involve folding laundry while half-asleep with a glass of wine in hand, and binge-watching Netflix. The only thing we’re hunting for is the missing sock.
3. Our kids must be “missing out”
There’s this belief that kids of single mums are living tragic, deprived lives. Like they’re silently staring out rain-soaked windows, dreaming of a white-picket-fence family. Truth? Our kids are resilient, loved, and often gain life skills sooner than other kids their age, like independence, compassion, being able to talk to adults earlier on, and knowing that “family” isn’t defined by how many parents are under one roof.
4. We must be superhuman
Okay, this one has some truth to it. People either think single mums are broken and helpless, OR that we’re basically Wonder Woman, saving the world between school drop-off and bedtime. Newsflash: most days we’re somewhere in between. Some days we nail it. Other days, the win is simply that everyone has clean underwear.
5. We’re desperate for advice (especially from people who’ve never been single mums)
“Have you tried…?” “Maybe if you just…” “Well, in my marriage…”
Oh, the unsolicited advice! Single mums don’t need constant fixes or pity. What we really need is someone to bring us coffee, babysit for an hour, or just say: “You’re doing an amazing job.”
6. People Who Say They’re “Practically a Single Mum”
This one deserves its own special mention. You know the line: “Oh, my husband’s away this weekend, I’m basically a single mum!”
No, Susan. You’re not. Your husband is coming back on Sunday night, and you’re probably getting a break when he does. Being “solo for the weekend” isn’t the same as carrying the entire load 24/7 with no tag team, no financial back-up, no one to debrief with and offer a crying shoulder, and no guaranteed partner walking back in the door. Nice try, though.
Being a single mum comes with its challenges, sure – but it also comes with many amazing perks. People’s perceptions don’t define us. What defines us is the way we show up for ourselves and our kids every single day.
And if you’re reading this as a single mum, let me just say: you’re doing better than you think (even if last night’s dinner was two-minute noodles).
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.
PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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