When people think about what single mums do, they picture the obvious: the school drop-offs, the packed lunches, the laundry, the cooking, the bedtime stories. And yes, those things are real (and exhausting enough on their own).
But here’s the truth… what really wears you down isn’t always the visible stuff. It’s the invisible load. The mental load. The hundreds of tiny, silent jobs that nobody sees, nobody thanks you for, but that keep your kids’ world spinning.
If you’ve ever collapsed into bed at night wondering, “Why am I so tired when I haven’t even done much today?”– this is why.
Here are 7 invisible jobs single mums do every single day:
1. Remembering Everything (for Everyone)
Library books, sports uniforms, dentist appointments, birthdays, parenting arrangements, bin night… It’s all floating around in your head, waiting to be remembered. You’re the human Google calendar that nobody else realises they depend on.
2. Being the Emotional Anchor
Your kids have big feelings – about school, about their friends, about the divorce/separation… About the smallest of things. About the big things. You’re the one who absorbs it all, staying calm while they storm. And when your ex is less-than-kind? You’re the buffer who protects them from carrying that weight.
3. The Money Stretch
Single mums become masters of making one income do the work of two. It’s not just paying the bills; it’s the invisible calculations of “If I buy this, can I still cover that?” running on repeat in the back of your mind.
4. The Peacekeeper Role
Even if you’re not on speaking terms with your ex, you’re constantly managing the atmosphere – keeping conversations civil, smoothing over handovers, walking on eggshells, shielding your kids from tension. It’s draining, but you do it because you want their childhood to feel safe.
5. Future Planning (on Repeat)
School choices, extracurricular activities, summer holidays, Christmas logistics… It’s always up to you to think ahead. Even when today already feels like too much, you’re carrying tomorrow, next week, and next year in your head.
6. Self-Silencing
Single mums often push their own needs down the list, sometimes without even realising it. You don’t complain because you don’t want to seem bitter. You don’t ask for help because you don’t want to be a burden. You hold it in, and that silent effort takes its toll.
7. Being “Both” Parents
Even if your ex is involved, you’re still often filling both roles. You’re the comforter and the disciplinarian, the homework helper and the bedtime storyteller, the one who brings the fun and the one who says no. It’s a lot. And it’s why you collapse at the end of the day.
If you’re a single mum reading this, I want you to hear this loud and clear: just because these jobs are invisible doesn’t mean they don’t matter. They are everything. They’re what make your kids feel secure, cared for, and loved.
And while it may feel like no one notices, please know, I see you. Other single mums see you. And one day, your kids will too 💛
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.
PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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