Being a single mum can feel like you’re juggling a hundred balls in the air while someone keeps sneaking in more when you’re not looking. You’re navigating parenting, finances, emotional ups and downs, and maybe even co-parenting with an ex who isn’t always easy to get along with.
It’s exhausting.
And while we’d all love to have everything neat, predictable, and under control, the truth is, there are some things you simply can’t control as a single mum. The good news? You don’t need to. Once you shift your energy to what you can influence, life feels a whole lot lighter.
Here are three things you can’t control, and what to do instead.
1. Your Ex’s Behaviour
Whether you’re dealing with passive-aggressive texts, forgotten pick-ups, or an ex who tries to parent in a completely different style, one of the hardest truths is this: you can’t control what your ex does.
You can ask, suggest, and set boundaries, but you can’t force them to show up the way you wish they would. And honestly? Trying to will only leave you frustrated and drained.
👉 What you can control: Your response. You get to decide how you engage (or don’t). You get to set healthy boundaries, use strategies like the grey rock method when needed, and choose not to let their behaviour dictate your peace.
2. Other People’s Opinions
“Oh, you’re a single mum? That must be so hard.”
“Kids really need a father figure.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll find someone soon.”
Sound familiar? Everyone seems to have an opinion about single motherhood, and not all of them are kind, informed, or even remotely accurate 🙄
👉 What you can control: Whose voices you allow to matter. You can’t stop people from having opinions, but you can stop them from renting space in your head. Choose to tune into the voices that actually uplift, encourage, and support you – like your friends, community, or other single mums who get it.
3. Life’s Curveballs
Your child gets sick right before your big work presentation. The car breaks down the same week school fees are due. Or your ex suddenly wants to swap weekends… again.
Life will throw curveballs, and sometimes, being a single mum means it feels like you’re catching them with one hand tied behind your back.
👉 What you can control: Your flexibility and self-care. You can’t prevent surprises, but you can take steps to strengthen your resilience (or mental health maintenance, as I like to call it) – like building a support network, taking steps to keep your nervous system regulated, creating backup plans, and making sure you’re not pouring from an empty cup.
Here’s the truth: you’ll never be able to control everything as a single mum. And that’s okay. What matters most is focusing on where your power actually lies, and that’s your mindset, your boundaries, and your choices.
When you shift from trying to control the uncontrollable to owning what’s in your hands, you’ll feel less overwhelmed, more empowered, and more at peace with your journey.
Because thriving as a single mum isn’t about having it all under control, it’s about knowing what’s worth your energy, and letting the rest go. And that will give you this one important thing… peace.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.
PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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