Top ten tips to look after yourself as a new mum

This article is sponsored by Belly Bands

I remember feeling so incredibly happy when my daughter was born. Being a new mum was incredibly overwhelming and my relationship with my partner was suffering, but I was in this beautiful love bubble with my new baby, and I’d never felt happier.

My pregnancy had been an emotional roller coaster with my partner and I breaking up, getting back together, breaking up, getting back together, and I felt like a wreck. I was also living 3,000 km away from my family and friends, and I felt incredibly alone. In fact, if it hadn’t been for one particular work colleague, who is still a very special friend to me today, I’m not sure how I would have got through it.

We lasted two months after our daughter was born, but ultimately, our relationship ended. A relationship break-up wasn’t supposed to happen at that stage. And it meant that a lot of things I had planned for didn’t happen. I was in survival mode. But it also taught me about what was important, and how to look after myself as a new mum.

Here are my top ten tips to look after yourself as a new mum, newly single or not.

1. Let go of expectations

I am a big planner. I like schedules, lists, timetables, and so on. It was a big learning curve for me when my daughter was born because babies don’t do schedules. Well, mine didn’t anyway. I learned to throw the schedules away, and just take each day as it came. I threw out the “to-do” list and let go of chores. Everything was just done on an “as needed” basis. I slept when my baby slept, and sometimes just used the quiet time to sit and have a cup of tea (and a cry).

2. Make lactation cookies

I struggled with my breastmilk supply a little bit so I made lactation cookies and became absolutely obsessed with them. In the end, I’m not sure I ate them because of the lactation qualities or because of the taste. The lactation kind or not, cookies are always good!

3. Prep food

I’m a pro food batcher now that I have a seven-year-old and I’m all about hacks to save my time and energy. But back when I had a baby, not so much. This is something I WISH I had done when I was pregnant. If I ever another baby – I’ll be prepping food for weeks. It’s so much easier to just grab something healthy and delicious out of the freezer, than worrying about what to cook.

4. Find your people

Having a baby at any stage is tough, yet doing it solo is even harder. It’s important you find the people that can help lift and support you when things are hard. Maybe even some people to step in and help look after your baby for an hour so you can have some time to yourself. When I had my baby in Perth, I joined a fabulous mother’s group. When I moved back to my hometown of Sydney after her father and I ended things, I joined another mothers group in my area. I gave it a couple of tries but these people were not my people. Instead, I started what I wanted and needed, and that was a local single mothers’ group. I found my people and it made all the difference.

5. Post-pregnancy tool kit

After I had my baby, and also during my pregnancy, I was so focussed and consumed by what was going on in my emotional and mental sphere with all the relationship drama that was going on, that my physical body was neglected. I didn’t spend a lot of time supporting my body physically, and doing what I could to help it heal. If I could (or do ever) do it over, I would get the Belly Bands Heal Better Kit.

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6. Drink water

Drinking water is important at any time, but let’s not forget that delivering a baby, producing milk, and recovery and healing require EXTRA hydration. Then there’s the biggest organ in our body, our skin, which also needs hydration to maintain its elasticity.

7. Walk

Whilst we are always on the go and busy, being at home with a new baby can require a lot of sitting around. Whilst it isn’t recommended initially, and please always get advice from your doctor, it worked wonders for me to incorporate walking into my day. It was one of my favourite things to do. I had to time it between breastfeeds (and my daughter fed every two hours during the day), but it meant I could get her out in the fresh air and also work on getting my health and getting my fitness back at the same time. And when I say “health”, I mean physical AND mental health.

8. Bond

Our babies are babies for such a short amount of time. As they say, the days are long, but the years are short. And whilst we’re in it, it can seem so very hard. But it really is for such a short time. I look back now, and I’m so incredibly grateful that I had, and took, the time to bond with my daughter. Loving her, cuddling her, singing to her, massaging her, talking to her, staring into her eyes… I miss the days of her being a baby so very much, but I can look back and say that I really did make the most of that very special time.

9. Do something for you

When you’re a new mum, you can often feel like you lose yourself a little bit. Suddenly your purpose is keeping this new baby happy, healthy and alive. Your relationship can become a lower priority, or suffer, and it’s easy to miss (or even) forget the days where things seemed care-free without responsibility. Whilst, for me, being a mum is one of my main purposes and rewards in life, there are also other important things that make me ‘me’. And I think when you have a baby, it’s also important to focus on some of the things that you like to do. Maybe it’s running a bubble bath and pampering yourself for a bit? Maybe it’s taking an hour out to have a coffee with a friend or getting a massage, or even just spending 10 minutes to do some journaling or meditation? Find something every day that you can do just for you. At the end of the day, your baby will benefit too. A happy mum = a happy bub.

10. Don’t compare yourself to, or judge others

Last, but definitely not least, resist the temptation to compare yourself to other mothers. We don’t know the battles that other people are fighting. My baby was a very “easy” baby; she didn’t cry much or make life difficult for me in any way really. And she slept through the night from 6 weeks old. Was it anything I did? Nope. And I felt incredibly guilty about it. I’d often exaggerate minor things to not make the other mums feel bad.

But even if things did appear easy and great for me from the outside, no one saw my tears every day. No one saw me hiding in the toilet from my partner so I could make a call to a friend or family member without him getting upset about it, no one saw the emotional and verbal abuse I was enduring, no one saw the internal struggle I felt. And no one saw the guilt I felt at even just thinking that my baby was about to be raised by a single mother because I knew I had to get out of my toxic relationship.

Motherhood is life-changing for everyone. It’s tough, it’s fulfilling and it’s challenging. It’s also the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced.

With less comparing and less judgement, we can stick together as women supporting women and mums supporting mums. We are all on our own journey and all doing the best we can in each moment.

P.S DID YOU KNOW?

Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again for enrolment later this year. Join the waitlist here.