Why be stressed?
Being a single mother is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. Single mums have to juggle parenting alone, work, running a household, and their own personal life. And they have to juggle all of this while also dealing with the stress of being the sole provider for their family. Plus there’s the potential stress that may come along with dealing with a co-parent.
From disciplining children and addressing behavioral issues… to helping with schoolwork and making ALL the parenting decisions alone… single parenting can be daunting and stressful.
Trying to balance all these responsibilities plus meet the needs of children can also result in time constraints. This can be overwhelming and leave little room for self-care and relaxation.
It’s safe to say that most of the time, single mamas prioritise their children’s needs above their own, neglecting self-care in the process. The lack of time and energy for personal self-care can lead to increased stress levels and decreased overall well-being.
Then there is the responsibility for financially providing for our children. Balancing the costs of housing, childcare, education, healthcare, and other necessities can create significant stress and pressure.
Single mums may also not have a partner or family nearby to share parenting and household tasks. The absence of a support system can make it challenging to manage everything alone, leading to feelings of overwhelm and exhaustion.
That can also lead to a lack of potential emotional support. Raising children as a single mum means dealing with emotional demands and providing a stable and nurturing environment. The weight of emotional support, decision-making, and being the sole caregiver can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. Even just the seemingly simple thing of not having someone to debrief with at the end of the day can have a huge impact.
Single mums may also experience social isolation, feeling disconnected from friends, peers, and the community. The limited time we have and the decrease in energy to engage in social activities, can make it difficult to build and maintain a support network, leading to feelings of loneliness.
We haven’t even mentioned the societal judgments and the pressures we put on ourselves. The mum guilt… The feelings of inadequacy… The constant to-do’s… We carry a lot.
Holy shitake. I feel stressed just looking at the above.
Stress is a common experience for everyone, but it’s clear single mums face unique stressors. And the burden of all this responsibility can often lead to stress and anxiety, which can have a negative impact on both our physical health and our mental health.
In fact, the effects of stress on single mums’ health and well-being can be significant.
Stress can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and muscle tension. It can weaken the immune system, making us more susceptible to infections and illnesses. Stress can also contribute to high blood pressure, heart disease, digestive problems, and chronic pain.
It can also affect our mental health. It can contribute to the development of anxiety disorders, depression, and other mental health conditions. Or make them worse! Stress can also affect cognitive function, leading to difficulties with memory, concentration, and decision-making.
Furthermore, stress can negatively impact relationships with family and friends, as well as affect work performance. It may lead to increased conflicts, communication breakdowns, and a reduced ability to connect and engage in healthy relationships. Not to mention our lowered patience and rationality levels when dealing with a possible pain-in-the-neck ex.
Stress can take a toll on emotional well-being, leading to increased irritability, mood swings, and difficulty managing emotions. It can also contribute to feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and a decreased sense of overall happiness and satisfaction.
Stress can disrupt our sleep patterns and contribute to insomnia or poor-quality sleep. Lack of adequate sleep can also further impair our cognitive function, mood regulation, and overall physical health.
Stress can also diminish the overall quality of our life and enjoyment levels. It can limit our ability to engage in activities we once found pleasurable, disrupt the work-life balance, and create a sense of dissatisfaction or unhappiness.
Some people may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage stress, such as overeating, excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, or drug use. These behaviors can also have further negative consequences on physical and mental health.
So what can we do as single mums to manage our stress?
Here are ten tips for managing stress as a single mum:
1. Ask for help.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Seek support from friends, family, and other single mums who can understand your experiences. Joining support groups or online communities can provide a sense of belonging and a platform to share your challenges and receive guidance. They can be a safe space to share experiences and receive encouragement from others who understand.
2. Prioritise self-care.
Take time for yourself regularly, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Engage in activities that recharge you and promote relaxation, such as reading, taking a bath, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy.
3. Healthy lifestyle habits.
It’s important to exercise, eat healthy food, and ensure you are getting enough sleep. This is because taking care of yourself will help you better manage stress and improve your overall well-being.
4. Set realistic expectations.
Don’t expect perfection from yourself. Recognize that you cannot do it all and that it’s okay to ask for help. Delegate tasks where possible and avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to be perfect. Focus on accomplishing what’s essential and let go of perfectionism.
5. Establish a routine.
Create a structured daily routine. This can provide a sense of stability and reduce stress. Planning and organising your time can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.
6. Practice effective time management.
Prioritise your tasks and break them down into manageable steps. Utilise time-saving strategies such as meal prepping and schedules, and getting children involved in helping with chores based on their age and abilities. Utilise tools like calendars, planners, or productivity apps to help you stay organised.
7. Set boundaries.
Learn to say “no” when necessary and set clear boundaries with others, especially the other parent of your children. It’s important to prioritise your needs and avoid overextending yourself. Both personally and professionally.
8. Practice stress-relieving techniques.
Explore stress management techniques that work for you. These might include deep breathing exercises, yoga, journaling, listening to calming music, or engaging in creative outlets. Experiment with different methods to find what helps you relax and reduce stress.
9. Seek help from a mental health professional.
If stress becomes overwhelming or starts impacting your mental health, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor can help you and provide support.
10. Consider working with a coach.
Consider speaking with a coach. A coach can provide guidance, support, and strategies to help you navigate the challenges of single motherhood, and develop an action plan to move forwards. I am a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® and CDC Certified Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach®. I specialise in working with mothers and am genuinely passionate about helping single mums get back on track and feel supported, and not alone. Please reach out if you need help managing stress as a single mum.
It’s clear that being a single mum is no easy feat. But it’s also important to know that while being a single mum can be challenging and stressful, it also comes with HUGE rewards, incredible strength, resilience, and the potential for personal growth. It is SUCH a gift.
Remember, self-care and stress management are not only manageable but ongoing practices. Use these tips to help you manage stress as a single mum. It’s important to be patient and compassionate with yourself. And recognise that taking care of yourself is crucial, not just for your own well-being but also for the well-being of your children.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – is now OPEN. Sign up here.