Moving, in general, is a nightmare. Moving as a single mum is even worse. Especially if it’s your first move since your separation from the other parent of your child, or children.
Overall, I moved four times as a single mum, and I can say that it did get easier. The first time was the worst. It was back in 2013. My daughter’s dad and I had split up and I moved interstate with a five-month-old baby. I packed up our life in Perth, got all my furniture and belongings onto a truck, packed up my car with essentials that I’d need for the first few months (including the bassinet, high chair, pram, baby carrier, breast pump, and all the other baby items), put that car on a train bound for Sydney, and got on a plane with nowhere to live.
We went and stayed with a friend of mine whilst I tried to find us somewhere to live. Five days after we arrived back in Sydney, our car arrived on the train from Perth. And a month later we moved into our new apartment where we stayed for two years. It was great; we could walk to the beach, and we could walk to the houses of some of our friends and family.
The next time we moved, in 2015, I had a two-and-a-half-year-old. I packed up everything into boxes whilst my toddler unpacked the boxes at a similar rate. At least this time, I had a friend to help me on moving day. The removalists came, and 10 hours later the job was done.
We lived in a townhouse that had a beautiful community. We had some really great experiences in that place and left five years later with some very precious memories…
My daughter celebrated 5 birthdays in that house, I hosted one of my best friend’s baby showers there, we had several Christmas parties there, my daughter was toilet trained there, I built my business from there, I got to live next door to one of my closest friends for three of our five years there (we even had an interconnecting door), we had people come to stay, we were able to walk to school, we were able to walk to our friends from school houses, we went through the first covid lockdown and homeschooling there, the list is endless… I was 32 when we moved in, and we left when I was 37. It felt like a lifetime ago.
The emotional toll that moving brought at that time was unexpected. On moving day, I picked my daughter up from school after a long day of moving, and we popped by our place to say one final goodbye. We lay on the floor in my daughter’s old room and talked about how much we loved our house and all the great times we had there. Then I started crying because I was REALLY going to miss it and we had such beautiful memories there.
View this post on Instagram
But I knew that we would have more great experiences with each other and our loved ones and build more memories in our next place. In fact, I started dating my (now) husband that same week.
We ended up in our new apartment for 8 months, before moving into a new place with him.
But over the years of moving as a single mum, I’ve learned some things that have definitely made the process of moving more smooth sailing.
Here are my top 10 tips…
1. Declutter
Moving is an opportunity to declutter. Do a first pass declutter when you pack, and a second pass when you unpack. Give things to your friends, to charity, and sell them. The Facebook marketplace was successful for me, and then there are all the other local buy/swap/sell Facebook groups, and of course eBay and Gumtree. Decluttering not only helps you get rid of unwanted or unused items, but it’s also like a mental cleanse. It can help you feel clearer, reduce your anxiety, and increase your self-esteem.
2. Gather removalist quotes
Once you have secured a new place, and you know which day you are able to move, it’s time to do some research on removalists. I always ask people I know for recommendations and do some research in local Facebook groups too. Then I do a ring around and gather some quotes. Cheaper is not always the best. There are other things to consider including the size of the truck, whether it can take all of your stuff in one go, and how many hands are on deck.
3. Collect boxes
First, reach out to people you know and see if anyone has any available moving boxes. I obtained a fair few in this way. You can also do a call out in local Facebook groups and check Gumtree too. People are often not only able but keen, to give away their moving boxes for free. One of the lovely ladies in my Thrive Tribe community also gave me this tip – you can often get empty boxes for free at the checkout counters at places like Bunnings and fruit shops. Let’s just say that in the lead-up to moving day, we made frequent after-school trips to Bunnings.
4. Create your packing schedule
When I moved from the townhouse, the decision was made quite suddenly. I had been consistently looking for a few months but hadn’t expected to find something my daughter and I both loved (AND be accepted) just a few days before we went on a skiing holiday. This meant that when we got back, we only had a week before our move. Want to know the good news? It is completely possible to pack up your whole house in a week. And the best way to guarantee that it is, and STRESS-FREE, is to write up a schedule. Mine looked like this:
Monday: Playroom
Tuesday: Study + dining room area
Wednesday: Downstairs hallway cupboard + living room (including bookshelf)
Thursday: Upstairs hallway cupboard + loose ends from previous three days
Friday: Laundry + my daughter’s room
Saturday: My room + wardrobe + spare room
Sunday: Kitchen + bathrooms (x3) + final bits and pieces
Because I was also working during the week, I only packed boxes after school (with my daughter’s help), and in the evenings after she was in bed. On the weekend I spent two full days packing. And I got it done in a completely non-stressful way. I also packed up my car with breakables and other things I wanted to move on Sunday, leaving just the things from the fridge to add in on Monday morning (moving day!)
Also, ensure you label all your boxes with what room they are going to and the contents.
5. Do an online grocery order for delivery on the evening of your moving day
In the lead-up to the move, it’s a good idea to try and eat any leftovers, and to use up what’s already in your fridge and pantry. Then, do an online grocery food order to be delivered to your new place on the night you move in. You might also want to add a bottle of bubbly to your order for all your hard work and to celebrate your new chapter. I highly recommend getting Uber Eats for dinner the night you move in too. But at least you’ll have milk and food for breakfast plus school lunches etc. the next day.
6. Redirect your mail
When you move, there will be a range of services that you will need to notify of your change of address. To take the pressure off from doing this in the lead-up to the move, you can get your mail redirected through Australia Post. You can have your mail and parcels redirected for 1, 3, 6, or 12 months. It is very easy to apply online, but it does take three business days to kick in. You may also be eligible for a reduced rate if you hold a valid concession card. And if you are moving because you are a victim of domestic violence, you may even be eligible for free 12-month mail redirection.
7. Organise for your services to be disconnected and connected
Probably the most crucial thing to do in the lead-up to the move (apart from packing), is to call your electricity, gas, internet, and phone provider and inform them that you are moving. You’ll need to tell them when you are leaving your current place and when you are moving into your new place, and what the address is. This is also a good time to review your packages and ring around to see what other deals are available. If you’ve left it to the last minute, some energy providers can even connect gas with just one day’s notice.
8. Pack an overnight bag
Ensure you have an overnight bag packed for you and your child, or children. This should include pajamas, toiletries, clothes for the day after your move, and any school supplies your kids may need for the next day. Also – include at least one roll of toilet paper.
9. Clean the fridge
When you are in your new place, before you fill the fridge with food, use the opportunity to give it a good cleanout. It’s one of those things that is a pain to do, and as a single mum often falls to the lowest priority on the list (at least it did for me). But it’s quick to do on moving day, and then it’s done, ready to fill with your groceries that are being delivered that night.
10. Ask removalists to help assemble furniture
Be sure to ask the removalists to reassemble any pieces of furniture that have been taken apart; especially beds. They are really hard to put together on your own. Also, ask them to connect the fridge, and washing machine.
And there you have it. My top ten tips for moving as a single mum. And as challenging and emotional as the whole thing can be, once you are in, you are in. And you can get excited about your new chapter. As they say, when one door closes, another one opens.
P.S DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again for enrolment later this year. Join the waitlist here.
Know someone who needs to read this? Share it with them via the links below.