When you’re ready to dip your toes back into the world of dating and relationships as a single mum, trust can be a major roadblock. Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and it’s perfectly normal to feel apprehensive after experiencing a breakup or divorce. It may not be easy, or a quick fix, but rebuilding trust for a new relationship is possible. In this blog post, I’ll share some self-growth steps to help you regain trust and open your heart to love once more.
1. Self-reflection and healing.
Before you can trust someone else, it’s crucial to trust yourself and your own judgment. Take the time to reflect on your past relationships and identify any patterns or red flags that may have contributed to their downfall. Self-awareness is the first step towards building a stronger foundation for future relationships. And if you need support (because it’s hard going on this journey alone) it’s worth investigating therapy, counseling, coaching, or support groups (like Thrive Tribe!) to work through any emotional trauma and heal old wounds.
2. Set clear boundaries.
As a single mum, life is filled with responsibilities and commitments. It’s essential to set very clear boundaries to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. The first step is to do that inner work just mentioned above and to work out what exactly your boundaries are. And secondly, it’s important to clearly communicate these boundaries to potential partners, so they understand your limitations and respect your priorities. Establishing these boundaries early on can help you build trust within yourself by showing yourself that you value yourself. And it’s a good gauge to see whether any potential dates or partners respect those boundaries too.
3. Be selective.
It can be really really freaking scary to start dating again, especially if it’s been years or even decades since you last dated. It’s important to take your time when you’re getting to know someone new. Don’t rush into a relationship just because you’re eager to find love. Or because you want to use it as a distraction. Take the opportunity to truly get to know the person you’re interested in. Ask them questions, observe their behaviour, and assess whether their values align with yours. Being selective can help you build trust in small steps.
4. Communicate openly.
Effective communication is key to any successful relationship. When you feel comfortable, start to be open and honest with your partner about your fears, expectations, and past experiences. Encourage them to do the same. Sharing your vulnerabilities can foster a deeper connection and build trust as you both work through challenges together.
5. Trust your instincts.
As a single mum, your instincts are your greatest asset. If something doesn’t feel right or you sense red flags in a new relationship, don’t ignore them. Trust your gut feelings and take the necessary precautions. Your intuition can help you make informed decisions and protect your heart and your children.
For some people, it may be really tough to trust your own intuition. Especially if you feel you have made some mistakes or bad decisions in the past. This is where self-reflection, healing, and self-awareness come in. Some say the biggest journey you’ll ever take is from your head to your heart. It’s not always easy, but tuning into your body and being aware of what sensations are going on is a great start.
6. Be patient and kind to yourself.
Rebuilding trust takes time, so be patient and kind with yourself and the process. Don’t rush into a committed relationship until you feel genuinely secure and confident in your new partner. A healthy relationship will evolve naturally when trust is nurtured over time.
Becoming a single mum is a HUGE transition. And as a Certified Divorce Coach and a Certified Transition and Recovery Coach, I often say to my clients that becoming a single mum can be such an opportunity. A gift even! I chance to do this inner work, to grow, and to become more self-aware is an incredible transformation and experience. As a single mum, regaining trust in a new relationship can be very challenging but ultimately it is a very rewarding journey. By taking the time to heal, setting clear boundaries, being selective, communicating openly, trusting your instincts, and exercising patience and kindness for yourself, you can create the foundation for a healthy, loving relationship that stands the test of time. Remember that you deserve happiness and love, and with the right approach, you can find it again.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again for enrolment later this year. Join the waitlist here.
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